That We May Be One Book Review

**I was sent a product for the purpose of this review. However, my own opinion was used and not influenced in any way.


That We May Be One A Gay Mormon’s Perspective On Faith & Family

By Tom Christofferson


This week alone I have had two instances that made me cringe. First one started off talking with someone about Religion and Politics. I know, I know, those are taboo subjects in this day in age. It’s unfortunate because that is NOT the way it should be. Jesus taught us to love EVERYBODY. Not just those who think and act like you. So back to my story, my friend and I got onto the subject of LGBT. She was talking to me about how badly she wanted to adopt a baby and could not seem to be able to find a child that she could adopt. But was angry that it seems (in her opinion) that every gay couple gets moved up the line and gets a baby right away. She felt that gay couples should not be able to adopt children because God’s focus is on a man and women. This hurt my heart because I felt for her. However, I also feel that there are SO many children in this world who need love and guidance. Should a gay couple not be able to adopt just because they choose to love someone of their same gender?


The second cringe worthy experience I had started out with me sitting at home reading comments on an instagram post. You see, my daughter has a fascination with all things Lindsey Stirling. She idolizes her in so many ways, one of them being Lindsey Stirling not being afraid to speak out on her religious belief which of course matched the religious beliefs of my daughter.

As I was scrolling through my Instagram feed I came across a post that Lindsey posted about her being on Dancing with the Stars. We have been voting none stop for her in my home so this post caught my attention. As I was reading through all the well wishes and kind comments I came across another one. Someone was saying that no one should vote for Lindsey because she was Mormon and Mormons don’t let Gays into their church and don’t believe in Gay rights. This made me cringe.

As you can see I had experiences with people this week who were on each side of the spectrum. One was from someone who was angry about Gays and their rights and another was from a by the way he was talking (I assume to be) a Gay man who was upset with Lindsey for her religion. I am not saying this is how Lindsey feels or what she believes. It was just a comment which of course she had not responded to in any way. However BOTH of those stories made me cringe. Why? Because this is not what Christ has taught us. We are not taught to Judge, to love one side above another or to be okay with one side of things but dislike the other. We are made to love ALL people, regardless of their age, gender, love interests, political views, etc…

Ok. rant over. But for real. As most of you know I have a lesbian aunt and a gay cousin in my family. I love them both dearly. Do I think it is part of Gods plan for them to act upon their feelings and emotions? No. however I love them! I LOVE THEM! They are always welcome in my home, WITH their significant others. They are always welcome around my children and will always be welcome to be part of my family. It’s not my place to judge who they are, who they love, how they live or any other aspect of their lives. Just as it’s not their place to judge me for my choices in life.

With all that being said, I want to let you all know that I was able to read an incredible book recently titled “That We May Be One: A Gay Mormon’s Perspective on Faith & Family” by Tom Christofferson. Might I say that I could not put this book down. There was so much in here that helped me to not only relate to my friends and family who are LGBT, but also to know how to better put my feelings and emotions into words for those in the family who are struggling with the choices of my Aunt and Cousin. I loved reading about how Tom’s family reacted to his coming out. He went through ALL the emotions from family not wanting their children around him to him being FULLY accepted in their lives. The situation of being LGBT is never easy. No matter who your family is. It can be hard for both sides, but we all need to realize that we are in this together. We are sent here to love one another and be a judgement free zone.



I applaud Tom for his accomplishments in life as well as for writing this book. He has truly come full circle and has an understanding far above and beyond what most have. I love reading his view of things from his being on both sides of the perspective. I love his view on how being gay is not a problem that needs to be “fixed”. There is no “fix” for your true feelings. Just like there is no reason for a member of the church or anyone else to treat someone differently just because of someones feelings or beliefs.  It’s okay to agree or disagree, it’s okay to be LGBT. It’s what you do with those feelings that truly matter. Heavenly Father has a plan for all of us. We all have our trials, sins, views, beliefs, etc….the only thing we really need to do with those thoughts and feelings is to love one another. It’s okay to think and feel one way, but that is no excuse for hate and disliking someone. Put those feelings of anger aside, and look at your own sins. Pray for forgiveness. Remember that none of us are perfect. We are all flawed. We all have our trials and temptations. It’s time that we ALL humble ourselves and realize that. It’s time that we all come together as one and love one another. Period.

Also, to all my Primary children past and present. I want you to know that I love you. I love you for who you are today and who you will be tomorrow. There is NOTHING you can do to change that! You are ALL rockstars!


Buy It:

That We May Be One: A Gay Mormon’s Perspective on Faith & Family is available at Deseret Book!

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